The best thing about Harry-Potter-Posting-Friday is that then I can start reading the next installment. I am used to CANNONBALLING THINGS, you guys, and all this start-stop is probably good for my character.
The SECOND best thing about HPPF is reading the other run-downs. There were many a good gif last week, but easily (EASILY) the best was this one from As the Crowe Flies (and Reads!):
I just, I almost cried. And then walked around muttering ‘Yer a lizard’ to myself all day. You can do that when you stay at home with a small child, because that’s also what they’re doing, and neither of you is like, Cut that out and start making sense.
Also w/r/t last week, how did none of us mention that Neville’s toad has a people name? That is comedic gold, straight to my heart. Trevor!
Ok so. Sometimes I am tearing along at a PACE and then I come across, like, the troll bogies left on Harry’s wand after it goes up the troll’s nose and I am like, Right, this book is written for 12-year-olds AND I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE.
Speaking of 12-year-olds! So, when they go to visit Hagrid to find out what else is guarding the philosopher’s stone, and Hermione is all, *warm, flattering voice* You know everything that goes on around here, you big smart man, and I am like what?
So that’s weird.
Did I mention that this is only my second time reading the books? WHY IS MORE NOT MADE OF HOW HILARIOUS THE CENTAURS ARE? ‘Always the innocent are the first victims. So it has been for ages past, so it is now.’ And everyone is like
And the centaurs are like, ‘Mars is bright tonight.’ Poncy, cryptic assholes. They are a send-up of every centaur in literature ever and I love them.
Oh and hey, remember when Harry mysteriously gets the invisibility cloak and then immediately has to go a-spying, or Hagrid gives him a flute for Christmas and then later he needs to make music somehow to calm Fluffy? What I’m saying is, it’s getting all RPG up in here.
Ok so here is my solitary beef with this book and, I guess, the entire driving force of the series (no big): Quirrell couldn’t touch Harry and Voldemort couldn’t kill baby-him because of his mother’s love, right? Because ‘to have been loved so deeply…will give us some protection forever.’ Which, ok, nice work, JK, way to make every new wizard mother even MORE anxious, like, not only do I have to raise an upstanding citizen and keep it from dying of Wizard SIDS but I have to love it enough that, if its generation’s Evilest Wizard comes to kill it, my loving love will SHIELD IT. That’s some heavy burdens. So…that.
OTHER THINGS. Ok so Alice and I disagree on
everything that is not Victorian literature Snape and his greatness/sex appeal, but he protected Harry so that he and James would be quits and he could ‘go back to hating [James’] memory in peace.’ That is a man I want to know. Full of the most scrupulous loathing.
Going back to last weeks discussion on Dumbles and his RISKY BUSINESS move leaving Harry with the Dursleys, when they’re discussing whether D sent Harry the cloak hoping he’d go face up to V-mort (why are these names all so long) and Hermione is like, ‘that’s terrible – you could have been killed,’ I’m like, Well that’s pretty par for the Dumble-course. I sense that this is going to be a Thing for me.
To end on a less growly note, JK refers to Hagrid twice as being ‘too big to be allowed’ which, I guess it might be a saying, but LOL you are not permitted to exist, due to largeness! Oh and also, when Neville is awarded ten points and everyone bear-hugs him I am like
We may disagree on our Siriuses and Snapes, but Neville is the great unifier. Also, prrrrowrl.
HOLY ESS this recap was long. Moving on to WHICHEVER BOOK IS NEXT.