What the nuts? I forgot to review this.
Surriously, you guys need to read this. It was a DELIGHT. It made me lul and then it made sad and you know how I enjoy that. Sadness-lulz are my favorite plaid.
Ok so I’m not sure the protagonist has a name, because this is basically his diary and who writes their name in their diary? Fucking no one. And I’m too lazy to hunt through the non-dialogue to see if anyone addresses him by name. Let’s call him Larry.
So Larry is a veterinarian. He goes to farms, checks on people’s horses, gives sheeps their shots, etc. And you are like, That is a boring book. And it would be, but the format is darling. I don’t really know how to explain it without quoting MASSIVE CHUNKS, but ok it’s like a chart? It’s all:
Call: Castrate draft horse.
Action: Pulled out emasculators, castrated draft horse.
Result: Draft horse bled buckets. Pooled around his hooves. Owner said she had never seen so much blood. It’s ok, he’s got a lot of blood, I said. She nodded. She braided the fringe on her poncho, watching the blood.
Thoughts on drive home: What’s the point of a poncho if it doesn’t cover your arms?
What the wife cooked for dinner: Nut loaf.
What I ate for dinner: Not nut loaf.
And that’s the deal. But the entries get more and more involved, with entries such as What the house said at night and What we watch on video that we borrowed from the library, now that we don’t spend money at the video store and it will either GRATE YOUR CHEESE or it will win your little heart.
And so I would probably have read it if it just kept on in this vein, because Larry is amusingly contemplative and I like being in his brain-room. But then his son gets SHOT out of a TREE (they were hunting) and falls and hits his head and peaces out, coma-style. So, drama.
Also, there is a spaceship (what? [exactly.]). Also, more drama later. But its all in this mild, charty tone. I can’t…you guys. I am sucking at this. Jenn reviewed it better. For real, though, it’s short! Get on it.
Eight and a half caterpillars.