You guys! I’m gestating. You may recall. And also I read books? So sometimes I read books on pregnancy? But not often, surprisingly. I know, I thought I’d be way more Dewey Decimal System Section 618, but there’s teh internetz, right? Dear Google, why do I have fat feet now, how do I stop this heartburn shiz, etc.
And this was recommended to me as a lollarious romp, which it is in parts. But you know how I feel about lollarity (reluctant, and highly critical), so allow me to lower your expectations: this is less The Bloggess (i.e. all amusements, all the time) and more your average, chatty blogger who has a few winning moments. Maybe it was funnier back in 1995?
Because there may be an updated version, but my library’s copy is from my 7th grade year. And there are THINGS she says about, say, maternity fashion that may not be true today. And then there are other things she says, like the entire chapter on exercise (which boils down to Don’t Do It Because You’re Going To Get Fat Anyway And It Doesn’t Help Anything So Why Bother And Also What If Something Happens And You Miscarry You Will Always Blame Yourself, the last part of which is totally true but if I miscarry, I am totally going to blame having slept on my back or having eaten spicy eggs, WHAT I’M SAYING IS I cannot let that fear dictate my actions), which I and the modern medical community violently disagree with.
(At one point in the chapter on fashion she’s like, You will eventually outgrow even your husband’s clothes and probably weigh more than him at some point. And, ok, maybe her husband is really little, I don’t know her life. There are some dudes wandering around town with enviable hips and lovely lady legs, don’t think I’m not coveting your calves, whom I probably weighed more than to start with. But for me to outweigh my own personal Dude, I would have to put on sixty MORE pounds. [I have already put on a healthy serving of pounds. It is weird, after 29 years of life, to be like, Hello weight gain. You are totally welcome here.] And weight and sundries are VERY STICKY SUBJECTS with women, both fetus-filled and non, so I’m not going to say that her stance on exercise and her tendency to weigh more than her husband are LINKED, I’m just going to eat a bag of chips and then go for a walk, because adding sixty more pounds to the front of my angry back is terrifying to me.)
But (we are now going back to the topic of this book being Supah-Old) a surprising amount of pregnancy, and the dealing with thereof, has remained the same (like, a weird amount. She’s all, Dude, yes to breast pumps and my bff the other day was all like, Breast pumps indeed so apparently breast pumps are a go [come at me, spammers]). And though it feels like We, the Modern Woman are super-educated about everything to do with our bodies, it’s nice to have everything sort of laid out by sub-heading because I’m not always going to be Googling ahead.
On the whole, it is very sane and relaxed, and if Iovine glosses over some things or has a few wacky opinions, we still have the internetz (where all opinions are Reasoned and Footnoted). She tells you straight out the gate that any real medical information passed on is ‘largely accidental,’ and is very like ALSO TALK TO YOUR DOCTORS. Which is sage advice.
Seven caterpillars (with swollen ankles).