Um. Jane and Scarlett moved to LA for awesome, non-famewhorey reasons. Good. Now I need to say some charactery things about them. Jane likes tea parties and dresses and has a goldfish named Penny that zips through the water, her tail swishing excitedly, and Scarlett is a stunning, brilliant, (put at least one more adjective in here later) rebel who drinks black coffee and her favorite philosopher is Descartes and she has a mug that says ‘COGITO, ERGO SUM’ which is Latin for ‘I think, therefore I am’ and phew all this set-up is exhausting.
Ok, now the girls go out shopping because this book is set in LA and damned if I’m not going to LA the hell out of it, so here are some quirky boutiques and here is Jared Walsh and here are some gays because it’s LA! Boys hold hands with boys! Ooh, here’s another character I need to introduce! Let’s see, Diego will be ‘a short (about five-foot-four) guy with spiky black hair and Asian-looking features…dressed in tight jeans, a black muscle tee, and red sneakers.’ The Devil wears Prada details, right?
Ok so, errrum, what now. They go to a bar, meet a cute boy, and establish that Jane has pre-existing boy troubles. Jane goes to work and her boss is a bitch but she works in event planning, not fashion, so it’s not plagiarism! They go to a club and there’s a line-up and Diego (Asian-looking! Remember him?) gets them in! LA is so fun. Ok so I guess we should get the plot going? They’re at this club and producer approaches them to be on his totally non-staged reality show. Ha ha ha, art is like life, or something.
Ok so back to Jane. She meets the cute boy for lunch? Except he has a maybe-girlfriend! Ooooh, but then she meets his roommate/best friend, who is a player but also HOT and who likes her and doesn’t have a maybe-girlfriend. Boy issues = excellent conflict. Also, Jane gets promoted because being on tv is good for your career.
Oh right, Scarlett. Ok, Scarlett hates the whole tv thing and misses their boring lives even though they’ve been on tv for, like, two days and also Scarlett is the badass rebel. This is, um, character development. Also there are two other girls, who I forgot until just now. One of them isn’t important, and the other one is a bitch. Let’s call her
Um, a bunch of stuff happens, and basically Jane ends up dating the player because the cute boy keeps making out with his maybe-girlfriend in front of her, even though I think I’m supposed to be making him the good guy? Because then the player cheats (because he is a player) and then Madison, who has been plotting this whole time (because Jane is really popular on the show and Madison is jealous [reminder: make Madison kick a puppy or something because she is HORRIBLE and the readers need to know that]) sends the cute boy over to ‘console’ Jane but ALSO sends a photographer to photograph them hooking up and then Madison leaks the photos and Jane is RUINED and Scarlett goes after the player in a rage and when she gets home Madison has sneaked Jane off to Mexico to ‘recover’ and CLIFFHANGER READ MY NEXT BOOK!!!!!
Um, you guys better peace out of my brain now because I’m going to space out for a bit and you know how nature hates to vacuum.
Me again (Raych, not LC). Sorry to put you through that, guys. But this book slew me in the mind and all I can come up with now are random irritants. The cute boy smells ‘really yummy, like the beach.’ At one point Jane says (re: Scarlett) ‘We’re total opposites, which is why we’re so close, I guess. I know that probably doesn’t make any sense’ as though Opposites Attract wasn’t the motto of Cliche-Town. Conrad uses both ‘chilly’ and ‘arctic’ to describe a smile even though that’s like saying dirt is ‘brown’ and ‘quite brown.’ Jane gets confused by the expression ‘penny for your thoughts’ because she has a goldfish named Penny.
The Horrible Dare Challenge 2010 is back on track!!