Steve Wozniak invented the personal computer, co-founded Apple, and had fun doing it. That’s…about all you need to know in the way of ‘plot.’
Reading iWoz is like talking to a child, where they’re telling you all these inane details that they thought were cool but that really have no relevence to the story, and they keep saying things like ‘It was really, really great.’ Which, Wozniak is probably rad to hang out with because he thinks everything is really, really great, and it’s hard not to be infected by that kind of enthusiasm.
And, ok, I don’t know who this Gina Smith character is, but I’m bumfuzzled that someone helped him write this. I was under the impression (until I double-checked) that Wozniak had just dashed off this book, and then been all Hey guys, I did something else cool! And then the publishers read it and were all, Awwww, this is adorable. We’re just going to let this stand as is, it’ll be endearing.
Because The Woz = socially inept. His Tallness and I have been watching this show called Big Bang Theory (which, if you get the chance, JUMP ON THAT BANDWAGON IT IS HIGH-LARIOUS!) and there’s a Sheldon who’s a theoretical physicist and also kind of like a human-robot, in that his buddies always have to explain to him why X and Y are social conventions and why he shouldn’t go around doing Z, and reading iWoz is like BEING INSIDE SHELDON’S MIND!!
Like, when he (we’re back to the Woz now, not Sheldon) starts going off about how sweet-talking girls can wangle their grades because English is totally subjective and only science and math have right answers, dude, THIS IS WHY YOU CANNOT GET GIRLS!! Also probably why you are bad at English.
And when you say things like ‘Joe had perfect pitch – probably because he was blind, I don’t know,’ how has no one gotten angry at you about this? People get angry about EVERYthing! Someone has dropped the Ball of Fury, here.
And, ok, also, how can you be so paranoid as to believe that The Government re-jiggered the ENTIRE VIETNAM DRAFT so that you would get a suckier draft number? You are not that important now, you were sure not that important at 19, and when you start saying things like ‘I saw that the government would do whatever it could to beat a citizen, that it was just a game,’ it comes across less as well-thought-out-criticism-of-those-in-authority (which I am totes behind [the criticisms, I mean]) and more ZOMG-BIG-BROTHER!!
And then he’ll go on and on about he was totally ethical while pulling this and that prank, and how he thinks it would have been more fair for his college to praise him for costing them thousands of dollars in extra-curricular science instead of trying to charge him for running up their budget, and again, this is why you fail English. You need to reexamine your definitions of ‘ethical’ and ‘fair.’
And also, he keeps mentioning how awesome he is at things and how revolutionary these things that he did are but BUDDY WE GET IT!! YOU INVENTED THE PERSONAL COMPUTER! But I mean, that’s kind of my point. You invented. The personal. Computer. I have to brag about things because my biggest claim to fame is that I can make caramel from scratch. If anyone can lay off the bragging, it’s probably the Woz. Katherine Heigl can shut up too, but for totally different reasons.
And sometimes it takes a writing review to let you know how you really felt about a book, and I seem to have been more annoyed than anything else. But entertainingly annoyed. But annoyed.