REVIEW AND GIVEAWAY!!
Ok, I know, I’m a total blog parasite, and I’ve won lots of lovely books from LOTS of you, and have yet given nothing back.
JSS: Hah! Miss. You really think I’d place one of my ships in a corner? A classic beginner’s trap, I’d never fall into. Good question though. I’m going to have to say, Jennifer, my wife of twenty one years and first line editor for the who. And for the what, let’s go with chocolate milkshakes and fries from Barry’s—the local greasy fast food joint—at midnight while going for a drive in the convertible. How’s that of a run-on sentence?
And now, I think I’ll think I’ll start with I-8 just to set you up for an easy joke.
JSS: Dang! Hit. I really thought I could hide along the top row. No one ever picks A this early.
It would have to be Johnny Depp. Mostly because he could actually make even a geeky writer look cool. Also I’d like it if he could the walking rolls trick from Benny and Joon.
Okay, let’s try D-3.
JSS: Another hit. Fine, you sunk my aircraft carrier. It’s not like it was exactly hiding. Now my patrol boat on the other hand. That sucker will never be found.
I think seven-year-old me mostly wanted to be eight. You know so I could drink, vote, pick up questionable women in strange bars. That kind of thing. I also wanted to be a race car driver, a football player, and a dentist. The race car driver was totally an effect of watching too much Speed Racer. I don’t think NASCAR was even on TV back then. The dentist was because there was one in our neighborhood who had a two lane bowling alley in his house. I mean who wouldn’t want that? I think the football player must have had something to do with the whole, drinking and picking up women thing.
JSS: You sank my patrol boat. What are you like peeking over the board or something? You’re looking in the reflection of my glasses aren’t you?
I have a border collie who herded my youngest son into the laundry room quite a bit. I also have a rotating staff of fish that have a strange habit of floating on their backs. Go figure!
JSS: Hah! Missed me by mile! It’s because I painted all my ships blue so they would blend into the water colored plastic. Of course it might also be because I can’t see without glasses.
Well I’m sure my kids would say I was a jerk to them some time in the last, what, thirty minutes or so. But I’m actually pretty easy going. If I was a jerk to someone it was probably a driver doing sixty in the fast lane. I don’t have much patience with slow drivers. Especially if they are on their cell phones.
D-3? Wait I already did that? I take it back. What? No take backs? That’s rude.
JSS: Miss again. You’re not too good at this are you?
Pretentiously and earnestly. I used to have a real problem with superciliously, but then we realized we had a lot more in common than we thought.
Alright then D-2!
JSS: Miss. Miss. Miss. Heh, heh, heh. Want to give up yet?
How’s this? There was a young lady from Farworld
What? That’s a limerick? Right, I knew that. I know all about haiku. In fact, did you know that the haiku were previously called hokku, it was given its current name by the Japanese writer Masaoka Shiki at the end of 19th century. No I’m not stalling for time. And I didn’t just steal that from Wikipedia.
Water, land, air, fire
Make up novels one through four
And five is about?
JSS: Miss again. How can you be so bad? Oh, wait. Oops. Okay this is embarrassing. I think a couple of those misses might have been hits. In fact you put rounds into my battleship and my submarine. And you sank my destroyer. That certainly puts the game into another light.
Probably Bothvar the Blind since they didn’t have glasses back then.
JSS: Hey how about that? You, uh, hit my sub again.
I’m thinking the old man from Hemmingway’s “The Old Man and the Sea.” I’d like to say, “Dude. Why did you tie that giant fish to the side of the boat, where the sharks could get it? Why didn’t you pull it in? I mean even if a few feet hung out from the front and the back, it would have kept the blood out of the water.”
He’d sip his beer and go, “Hmm. Never thought of that. I was so excited what with finally catching it.”
I’d shake my head. “Do you have any idea what you could have sold a record fish like that for? Not to mention the endorsements.”
He’d shake his head and I’d buy him a couple more beers to drown his sorrows.
A-1. Just like the steak sauce.
JSS: Heh. Missed my sub. I’m feeling a little more optimistic now.
As long as the balaclava was good, I would totally take Times Square. I really love all the flaky layers of phyllo dough. Ummm. What do you mean that’s a baklava? What were you talking about? What would I need a mask for? Then no one would even know it was me when I appeared in the Today Show. Alright forget it. I’ll take the liver.
JSS: Dang. How’d you guess where the last shot would go? Do you have any idea how many good men you are sending to a watery grave you should be ashamed of yourself
I’m gonna say it’s, “Help me, Dad! I can’t swim!” Especially when I’m trying to take a nap.
Man. This is nerve wracking. How about G- no wait, um, E . . . 7?
JSS: Ouch. Only one more spot on my Battleship.
Honestly I write pretty much wherever and when ever I can. In the winter I have a really cool forest green cable knit sweater that I call my writing sweater. That doesn’t work so well in the summer though. I once I actually wrote in . . . Well maybe we should just stop there.
Its looks like I’m in pretty bad shape. Fortunately you only have one space left as well. If I guess right the game’s over. But if I guess wrong. Well . . . the games over to. Let’s try B-4.