I knew it would come to this. I have this friend who’s this great, strong, funny, articulate woman, and I totally love her, and she totally loves Janet Evanovich. This friend of mine, she is responsible for recommending The Time Traveler’s Wife, which is a debt I can never repay. She has great taste in books except, well, she likes Janet Evanovich. And maybe you do, too, and that’s fine. But Jane (and all you other JE fans out there), please don’t read this review, because I’m going to blog through Naughty Neighbor in real-time, and I’m going to spoiler the hell out of it. As though there were any spoilers.
We meet Pete Streeter. He is receiving warning phone calls in the wee hours. We meet Louisa Brannigan. She is angry that her neighbor, Pete Streeter, is receiving warning phone calls in the wee hours. She is also angry because he has stolen her newspaper. He is oblivious to her anger, and he scowls at the cat. He is roguish. She begins thumping her roof with a broom. He comes down to see why all the thumping. They each realize the other is hot. She is momentarily distracted from her anger to ask if his hair is indeed his own. Non-witty banter ensues. She goes to work and comes home. He returns her paper. Non-witty banter ensues. Somehow they end up outside in the dark, being shot at. He is more interested in her body than the fact that they are being shot at. He calls her ‘Lou,’ she rages and goes to her boss’s party.
Pete crashes Louisa’s boss’s party wearing torn blue jeans and a tuxedo jacket. He is roguish. People recognize him because apparently he is famous. Louisa inexplicably leaves party early to go home with him, even though she is pissed. Intruder breaks into Pete’s apartment. Louisa storms upstairs to complain about the noise of said break-in, and sees Pete naked. Their lives are suddenly ‘hopelessly entangled.’ Louisa is fired from her job. It is somehow Pete’s fault, and there is a pig involved. Pete offers Louisa a job helping him get to the bottom of this pig thing. They each secretly think about how hot the other is.
Louisa and Pete con gullible teenager into thinking they are movie scouts – awkward espionage ensues. Pete cons Louisa into date. Awkward flirting ensues. They discuss pig mystery for a few minutes. Pete cooks dinner for Louisa and gets her drunk. They talk about love. He respectfully refrains from removing her clothing after she has passed out.
Louisa wakes up in Pete’s apartment and is awkward. More obligatory pig mystery ensues. Unnecessary backstory into Pete’s tumultuous childhood. They eat sandwiches. Pete kisses Louisa and ‘accidentally’ unhooks her bra. Louisa wanders around town repressing her feelings. Pete cooks Lousia dinner and tells her he loves her. They talk about the pig some more, and go to spy on some guy’s house but end up getting naked in the car.
They are naked in the car, but they don’t doink. Instead, they spy on the guy’s house, and then they get chased by dogs. Louisa is awkward, because she got naked. Pete is a chauvinist. She is suicidal. He brings her donuts. She is fine.
Pete visits his seedy friend Kurt regarding the pig mystery. Unnecessary backstory into Louisa’s overachieving childhood. Louisa locks herself out of her house. Pete rescues her. He removes her bra without her noticing. She is pissed, but also amused by this clever and completely unrealistic slight-of-hand. They doink.